What happened to the hippy man?

What could you spend all day talking about?

‘Four heavily armed Palestinian terrorists storm a Pan Am jumbo jet as the passengers embark. The pilots escape, the terrorists shoot a passenger and throw his body out of the plane. They collect in passports and call Michael John Thexton to the front of the plane as the next hostage to die’ – extract from Mike Thexton’s hostage survivor story.

When my husband Col casually mentioned that one of his football team happened to be a hijack hostage survivor, I knew I had to meet him. My opportunity came along a few weeks back when needing advice about publishing books, Col suggested speaking to his team mate to put me on the right path. An offer I couldn’t refuse.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when meeting Mike, when you’ve been through something as terrifying as what Mike had experienced – how does a person cope afterwards, how does it shape you as a person - I was very curious.

Meeting Mike was like chatting to an old friend, such a down to earth and easy going guy. It felt like talking to someone who had been there, done it. I felt I could open up to Mike immediately, obviously someone who holds very little fear and is comfortable in his own skin.

In fact we talked mainly about writing books and publishing, rather than the hostage experience. I felt completely captivated by our conversation. When Mike decided to write his hostage experience, it took him on an interesting path of how to publish a book and get yourself known as a writer. Not an easy task but his wealth of experience was extremely helpful and much appreciated. It gave me the missing jigsaw pieces I needed to get me writing that book I keep promising myself.

The time flew by, I never knew I felt so passionate about writing and could easily talk about it all day. If only I had discovered this interest at school!

So, what hidden talents do you have? What really interests and excites you? How could you be putting those talents to good use?

Life’s no rehearsal, there is no time like the present. Perhaps try something creative, there could be a hidden talent in there itching to come out. Even speaking to someone inspiring can be a huge lift to your day, so thank you Mike for giving up your time. Looking forward to the next pub outing.

By the way, if you would like to read Mike’s story. It’s certainly worth the read, helps to put life back into perspective!
www.hippyman.com

Dreams do come true

How big are you dreaming?

I got the news recently I've wanted to hear for a while, my favourite well-being magazine offered to print one of my articles. I was really delighted. I have kept pursuing them with my work for a couple of years. Hearing those magic words was like music to my ears. Not only that, it may lead to something more regular. So, I get to try out new alternative therapies, write about my experience and then share with others out there. A dream come true!

While I am on a roll, other positive things seem to be happening as well. After our attempts at trying to sell our property, we decided to take a different direction which means we can still move and have the house we have been longing for. So Windsor here we come - many thanks to the Queen for making it happen!

I have learnt on both occasions that persistence and flexibility are key. If something isn't working, it's worth looking at a different way to achieve it. Funny enough, the Plan B route was meant to be as it was so easy to make happen. So, as we pack our belongings this week, we feel proud of what we have achieved. Although slightly sad at leaving lovely Putney and the amazing friends we have made here.

Whilst de-cluttering the flat, I found my vision board that my life coach Eileen had suggested I create some time ago. At the time, I cut out pictures and images that represented how I'd like my life to be in the future. Funny enough, I realise that I am completely on track! There are some pretty crazy wishes on there but I know one day they will come true.

So, what are your dreams today? How big are you dreaming? What would make a difference in your life?

Remember, we are the only ones that hold us back from achieving great things. If nothing comes to mind, when you are next on holiday or feeling extremely relaxed just let your mind wander. Allow yourself to dream and keep holding that image in your mind every day.

Dreams really do come true.

By the way I was joking about the Queen making it happen, however will definitely be visiting her when exploring our new town!

See the person not the behaviour

How can we see the best in others?

I recently put my name down to become a mentor to young people. An organisation called Connexions were asking for volunteers to help teenagers aged between 16-18 years. Mentoring aims to give a little guidance and career help to get them on the right path.

I’ve fancied doing something like this for a while now, so felt grateful when this opportunity was presented to me. I decided to jump straight in without thinking about it too much, otherwise sometimes I can talk myself out of things before I even try them!

Friday morning a few weeks back, I turned up for my mentoring training. I felt excited about the prospect. I had no expectations just would take it as it comes. Dianne, a lovely caring lady who had worked with young people for many years was running the session. I was really inspired all day by her and the work her colleagues do.

I looked around the room at the other volunteers, I actually felt one of the oldest there! It was wonderful to see so many people wishing to help others. In a way I felt that by helping others it would help us too.

The day was a real eye opener for me, just listening to the circumstances of teenagers the organisation help - their backgrounds and upbringings. Often they lack good role models and do not have someone they can rely upon or will listen to them in a positive way. Some of them can’t even afford to pay for a pair of trousers when they go for college or job interviews. That part really brought a lump to my throat.

I started to look back at my own upbringing and felt grateful to my parents/family for the privileged life I have had up until now. I couldn’t imagine life being any other way. Some of these teenagers are also carers for their parents, so have responsibilities at such an early age.

One thing that stood out for me during the day was a phrase ‘See the person not the behaviour’ when talking about how to handle the young person during mentoring sessions. It was a lovely reminder of how sometimes we forget the true character of a person and see only the behaviour at that time. After all, we can’t be perfect all of the time.

I can’t wait to get started! In the meantime it has made me much more aware of social problems out there and made me want to understand teenagers better. After all I was once one myself!

If you would like to find out more about the wonderful work Connexions do, please have a look at their website http://www.connexions-berkshire.org.uk/.

Laughter is the best medicine

How often do you have a good laugh with friends?

I remember laughing and giggling so much as a teenager, then over the years finding myself becoming more and more serious.

A good friend of mine once told me about a laughter club she used to belong to in Sydney. Each week, a group of people would meet on a beach just after sun rise and just practise laughter exercises. The combination of beach and laughing certainly stuck in mind even after many years of hearing about it!

The other week by chance, I discovered a laughter session here in London. I decided to give it a go. I booked myself in immediately, it was taking place on a Sunday afternoon on the other side of London but knew it would be worth the trek!

Finally the day arrived and the weather couldn't have been worse - wet, windy and torrential rain.

All day I found myself trying to talk myself out of going, even the London underground system seemed to be against me but I managed to get myself there just as the session was starting.

On arrival I was feeling slightly apprehensive. After all those years of wanting to do this, I had no idea what was going to come next. Charlotte, the organiser got down to business quickly. We sat in a circle, she explained what we would be doing for the next hour - a combination of laughing and relaxation exercises. So far so good!

I looked around at the group, just women present... I wondered why no men wanted to join! Just as I commented on this to the group, a funny looking guy turned up. Our group was complete. Charlotte said 'just fake it until you make it'. Apparently whether we laugh for real or not, the brain doesn't know any different and it still releases endorphins throughout the body. It was suggested that we try out different types of laughs, experiment during the session, lose our inhibitions!

So the session began..... it felt strange at first walking up to complete strangers and just laughing at nothing. I did feel self conscious and kept thinking what I am doing here... I was feeling a bit of an idiot. After a while though, my body seemed to relax, the laughter felt much more natural and it was very liberating to just laugh at nothing.

I didn't feel particularly stressed before the session but I could feel the changes throughout my body. My mood seemed to lighten and lots more positive thoughts were being sent to my brain. I was feeling pretty damn good actually.

We did some silly exercises, like pouring a pint of beer into an imaginary glass then throwing it over the nearest person. Followed by walking around with an imaginary box that once opened contained the funniest thing you've ever seen.

The session was making quite an impression on me. By the end I felt connected with the group, without knowing their names or anything about them. It was very liberating!

I tried out lots of different laughs, it was something I had never experimented with before. I felt great as we finished the session and already planning a fun evening for my husband Col and I.

So, how often do you laugh in your day? What fun activities do you do and how often are you doing them?

Charlotte mentioned that even a bit of fake laugher (whilst in the shower!) first thing in the morning can make us feel great at the start of the day. Fake it, until you make it! I am sure my neighbours are probably wondering what's going on in our flat these days. Although I have to add my husband is a first rate comedian so he keeps me entertained a lot of the time!

I am so glad I attended the session, it has raised my awareness of my mood and also how to change it quickly especially if I am having one of those days.

We can't control everything in our day to day lives but bringing more laughter into our lives is a great stress buster and also helps us to see what's really important (and not to worry about the small things).

So, laughter is the best medicine and just what the doctor ordered.

Give yourself a break

How high are your expectations of yourself?

It’s been a funny old couple of weeks. Certainly testing my patience and levels of positivity!

Like many people out there I am trying to juggle quite a lot at once – looking for my ideal job, trying to sell our flat so that we can buy our dream home plus managing regular hospital visits – all have felt exciting and stressful little journeys.

I kind of laugh at the situation I find myself in. Why do we take on so much and expect a lot from ourselves? Is it today’s society expecting it or is it just our own expectations? I guess I like to be busy and achieve things constantly but isn’t that putting a lot of pressure on when things don’t go as you expect or as quick as you would like them to.

This is new terrority for me. Always been goal driven and gone for what I wanted. Generally felt in control and able to make things happen, waiting around feels totally alien.

In saying all of that, this is also a great opportunity to see the positive things that are happening too.

Found myself having wonderful conversations with friends/family and complete strangers, inspiring each other daily. I met a lovely lady whilst swimming last Wednesday who had major back problems (spent 7 months bed ridden), ended up having the most fascinating, heart warming conversation with her on how she has coped and how she always puts her well being first after that experience. I had to leave the pool in the end as I was getting cold but it was worth it!

It’s great to be living in the present more, not planning too far ahead and just enjoying what is really important. Trying to find activities that are fun and don’t cost the earth. You become really resourceful and develop great negotiation skills!

You find yourself listening more to what your true needs are and responding to them. If you can’t look after yourself, then who is going to look after you. I am still learning this but I feel much more self aware (probably because I am having to spend so much time with myself – scary!!).

So, give yourself a break if you too are expecting too much. Do something special for you this week and nurture yourself like you would your best friend.

Have a great rest of week.

Celebrating six years

What special moments do you look back upon?

Monday being a bank holiday, gave the weekend a real holiday feel about it. The day was also special for my husband Col and myself, as we were celebrating six years together. Being a bit sentimental we decided to re-enact our first date, a trip into our fair capital London town!

It started with a wonderful drive from Putney through to central London. I decided to be a tourist again, looking at the city through a fresh pair of eyes. I had to pinch myself on how amazing London truly is.

The most memorable sights were driving past the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben and Westminster Abbey. It had such an international feel about it, a real buzz about the place.

Once parked, we noticed the main road blocked off by a 10k fun run. Our hearts melted when we saw the variety of charities people were running for. Made me quite emotional watching the effort and commitment the runners were putting into their various causes.

It also gave me a gentle reminder about my own desire to devote some time to a charity like ‘help the homeless’ - something I've been thinking about for a while. This week I have decided to put my thoughts into action and see how I can make a difference.

The scene in front of us was electrifying. The London School of Samba were also there, dancing, singing and playing the drums. I was mesmerised, the sound was incredible. Both Col and I wanted to join in, the atmosphere just made you want to get involved.

We had to pull ourselves away and made our way over to the riverboat along the embankment where we had our first drink together. Unfortunately realising the place was closed we decided to go to a nearby vessel. The river being choppy didn’t help my poor stomach, so our re-enactment lasted about 10 minutes before Col had to almost carry me off. Very romantic I must say!

It turned into a spontaneous rest of day which involved lunch at a gorgeous pub near by. Best food ever and a lovely glass of wine to celebrate our six adventurous years. A perfect day and one I am sure we will remember for a long time.

So, what memories do you treasure most? How often do you give yourself a chance to be sentimental?

Of course it’s important to enjoy the present moment too, I am firm believer in this. However, great to also look back on the good times and be proud of what you have gained along the way.

So, have a sentimental moment and pat yourself on the back for being where you are today. You deserve it!

Mandarin, crystals and e-bay

What would you like to learn more about?

I saw an advert recently for free taster courses at my local college, so decided to investigate more. I ended up signing up to three of them, learning mandarin, crystal therapy and selling/buying on e-bay. All topics I have been curious about for months so decided to do something about it.

Walking through the college for the first time last Monday made me feel like a student again – excitement tingled through my body. It was so lovely to be in a learning environment once more, with the anticipation of what kind of experience I would have.

All three courses were very different in their own way - such an interesting week. It was wonderful to meet passionate teachers who knew their subject inside out, plus meet an interesting bunch of people from all walks of life.

Reflecting on my week I have finally made the step to learn mandarin, feel inspired to use e-bay, plus it has whet my appetite for learning more about a new therapy.

I also discovered the hair and beauty salon at the college, as students are perfecting their skill they are in need of clients to practise on. A great way to be pampered at a low cost, whilst helping someone at the same time. I’m there!

What have you always wanted to learn more about? Which topics or areas are you passionate about or most interested in? It’s such a great way to open up your creativity and get your brain stimulated in a different way.

I felt full of energy after my courses and also connected with some great people who I plan to see again. Can’t wait to do some more!

So enjoy your learning experiences whatever they are, it’s never too late.