See the person not the behaviour

How can we see the best in others?

I recently put my name down to become a mentor to young people. An organisation called Connexions were asking for volunteers to help teenagers aged between 16-18 years. Mentoring aims to give a little guidance and career help to get them on the right path.

I’ve fancied doing something like this for a while now, so felt grateful when this opportunity was presented to me. I decided to jump straight in without thinking about it too much, otherwise sometimes I can talk myself out of things before I even try them!

Friday morning a few weeks back, I turned up for my mentoring training. I felt excited about the prospect. I had no expectations just would take it as it comes. Dianne, a lovely caring lady who had worked with young people for many years was running the session. I was really inspired all day by her and the work her colleagues do.

I looked around the room at the other volunteers, I actually felt one of the oldest there! It was wonderful to see so many people wishing to help others. In a way I felt that by helping others it would help us too.

The day was a real eye opener for me, just listening to the circumstances of teenagers the organisation help - their backgrounds and upbringings. Often they lack good role models and do not have someone they can rely upon or will listen to them in a positive way. Some of them can’t even afford to pay for a pair of trousers when they go for college or job interviews. That part really brought a lump to my throat.

I started to look back at my own upbringing and felt grateful to my parents/family for the privileged life I have had up until now. I couldn’t imagine life being any other way. Some of these teenagers are also carers for their parents, so have responsibilities at such an early age.

One thing that stood out for me during the day was a phrase ‘See the person not the behaviour’ when talking about how to handle the young person during mentoring sessions. It was a lovely reminder of how sometimes we forget the true character of a person and see only the behaviour at that time. After all, we can’t be perfect all of the time.

I can’t wait to get started! In the meantime it has made me much more aware of social problems out there and made me want to understand teenagers better. After all I was once one myself!

If you would like to find out more about the wonderful work Connexions do, please have a look at their website http://www.connexions-berkshire.org.uk/.